You Can’t Win Every Hand

Steps: 16,530 / 20,000

Weight: 159ish /135lbs

Hydration: 3 / 2 gallons

Writing: 185/250 words

Veggies: .5 / 2 cups

How I’m Feeling: Discontent, emotional, and exhausted.

I could have pushed to 20,00 tonight. With just about 4,000 shy, I know that one final two mile walk would have gotten me to where I was going. But I decided not to.

I’m balancing between this tension of whether I should push myself to achieve my goal and not give up (determination) or if I should create sustainable goals and recognize my win, even if it’s not a complete?

Today, I am exhausted. I am emotional. I am hungry for sugar. I am withdrawing, becoming a hermit. I am spinning out of control in my brain.

20,000 steps is a lot of steps. It takes a lot of time. And while I genuinely enjoy the experience of walking, I already feel this subtle shrinking of my life. It feels like any time in the car is wasted time, I should be walking, but in turn, that limits the places I can go significantly.

Yesterday, I chose to complete a goal against all odds, today I chose to stop short in spite of opportunity. Both are valuable skills. I hope tomorrow I feel refreshed and excited to keep trying. My worry either way is that I will give up.

See you on the other side,

Sarina